The love shown to you was misplaced.
People shown me love until I left the congregation and was instantly cast aside. What kind of love is that? Conditioned love, who needs friends like these?
I know what you mean and why you are confused, because sometimes you miss the Kingdom Hall and everything associated with it. I miss the kingdom melodies and the hope that I once had for the future. Now it is all gone, and I must face harsh realities. Theres a fine line between being a dreamer and a realist; sometimes you become so real that you lose all hope.
But think of what you stand to gain. Think of getting your life back, being in control of your own life. You are no longer designed to parrot the opinions of your spiritual superiors, because you can think for yourself.
Whatever you chose, be happy. But think logically; if you were to return, you would live in denial. After everything you have learnt about the Organization, why return now?
I hope that whatever your choice, you are happy.